Archive for May, 2011

Dance Monkey Boy. Dance!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 31, 2011 by workshyjoe

This post is about Shit Tests. What is a Shit Test exactly?

I like Mystery’s formulation. A Shit Test occurs when a woman presents you with a hoop to jump through. If you try to jump through her hoop you FAIL the test.

The trouble with Shit Tests is that guys who are introduced to the concept will start to analyse all female behaviour in these terms.

Is she doing this or saying that to test me or just because she wants to?

As an example, let’s say that a single guy is talking to a girl in a bar, they seem to be vibing and having fun. One one point the guy finishes his sentence and the girl’s eyes wander. She shouts to her friend across the table. Its as if the guy doesn’t exist anymore.

Is the girl testing the guy or is she just more interested in talking to her friend?

At that point, there is no way to know for sure. Her motives don’t matter.

Perhaps he should start a conversation with someone else at this point or get up to use the men’s room or buy a drink?

Even years into a relationship with a woman, the same ambiguities will pop up. A man will think:

Did she just misunderstand me back there?

Is she acting nutty due to her menstrual cycle?

Did she have a bad day at work?

Is she angry at me or at the world in general?

Is that a reasonable request or is she just being deliberately awkward?

Once again, there is no way to know for sure. A man needs boundaries. There has to be a point at which conversation ends, co-operation is withdrawn or a definite “NO” is the answer.

The stereotypical Nice Guy is someone who tolerates too much crap.

Getting angry doesn’t work so well. I’ve done it before, but it is a very destructive way of dealing with unreasonable behaviour. The danger is that once your woman has found the anger lever she will start to press it on a regular basis like a lab rat getting rewarded with a treat.

Ignoring provocation or deflecting it with derision is only a short-term fix. It just kicks the can down the road a little. Yohami pointed this out in the comments of my last post.

my thing with shit tests is that most of them are not “tests” but the girl doing powerplays / manipulation to get away with something and blaming you while appearing as the good one herself. So if you try to “pass” that only means she tries again later. What works for me is to be ruthless and in your face when she tries something, like: hey, I dont tolerate that behavior.


In summation, bullshit is still bullshit – whatever her motives. The question is not so much “is this a test?” but “where are my boundaries?”

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The Dark Side of LTRs

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 31, 2011 by workshyjoe

I got the idea for this post from the @GmacGame twitter feed. Gmac has a series of tweets that begin with the words “Dark Side of Game Realization”. I think he’s up to #7 now.

Gmac is a free-wheeling single guy based in Washington DC with a harem to manage. By contrast, I am a run of the mill English dude who lives with his girlfriend and has no other women on the side.

So I thought it might be funny to come up with my own series of realizations about LTRs. Please don’t take this post too seriously folks!

Dark Side of LTR Realizations

1. Its the same woman every day.

2. I might have this particular woman figured out, but in a new relationship I’d have to start all over again.

3. If I got dumped tommorow my first purchase as a single man would be a fleshlight rather than a book on daygame.

4. Doing half the chores and paying half the bills makes you lazy and smug.

5. The Shit Tests never end.

6. We don’t always like watching the same stuff on TV.

7. I still get more out of reading Roissy than Athol Kay.

Beware Broscience

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 30, 2011 by workshyjoe

Youtube comedian mchenrycruiser has correctly identified the number one problem in bodybuilding today – broscience.

This isn’t just true for guys who want to get big. Unfortunately, there are as many myths in the realm of fat loss as there are for muscle gains.

Finally, I am starting to get lean with a weight-training and nutrition plan that I can actually follow. It took me more than a decade of following crappy advice from so-called experts who didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about.

By the way, this parallels the situation with mainstream relationship advice for men doesn’t it?

Expect more fitness related posts here in the near future.

Hughman’s Profile Tips

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on May 28, 2011 by workshyjoe

Commenter Hughman gave some interesting dating site profile tips for single guys on the comments of my last post.

Show, not Tell. Basic principle 101. Hint at things that are DHV. Be aloof, be funny, be cocky.

Your profile needs to avoid all the cliches unless you’re being ironic.

Like under the profile title ‘Things I’m good at’ I have written down: Minimalism

Under ‘Most Private Thing willing to tell’: “As a self confessed narcissist with delusions about my literary abilities, I rather like talking about myself” (the cliche is ‘I dont know what to write yadda yadda’)

It needs to be longer than basic lists, but shorter than the average female profile you’re gunning for.

Pictures: An aloof shot being alpha is a must. A cool hobby. And being the centre of attention. Having fun.

For me, I’m in a suit, smirking, looking off to the camera’s side, whilst a cute friend has a thumbs up behind me (and it wasn’t staged either!). Another alpha pic, me with two hot friends thrown on me at a night out. A happy pic in the sun with my mates (doing tug of war). My paintballing, one shot of me being a ninja, another an artistic shot from the back, showing my mask

Good stuff. Thanks Hughman. Single guys take note.

Free Online Dating – You Have Been Warned.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on May 28, 2011 by workshyjoe

Fellow manosphere blogger theprivateman claims to have engineered a soft harem using the free online dating site Plenty Of Fish.

If you ask me, that’s nothing short of a minor miracle. Its also a testament to his hard work, dogged persistence and never-say-die attitude.

But somehow I don’t think men will fare so well with the free online dating sites if they are looking for women in their 20s or 30s.

If you think that the woman (?) with the deep honking voice and her (mentally) sick friend are some kind of rare exeption, I would really urge you to mull it over.

You will never be judged more harshly than by the women who are looking at your online dating profile.

Thank God I’m not single anymore.

For those who are, both daygame and the bar scene have never looked so good by comparison.

First They Ignore You…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on May 27, 2011 by workshyjoe

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win.

-M.K. Ghandi

“Emotionally Unavailable” Is A Man-Bashing Slur

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 26, 2011 by workshyjoe

I consider it puzzling that abstract algebra is still a male-dominated academic bastion.

After all, don’t women have a trememdous passion for generalisation and abstraction in the area of human relationships?

Why give a hundred different names to a myriad of different phenomena when you can slap one big label on anything that you don’t like?

I’m going to take some quotes out of a batshit eHow article to show you how transparent and useless the concept of “emotional unavailability” is.

Emotionally unavailable people are difficult to nail down. Call them and get voice mail. Leave a message, and they wait for weeks to return the call — or don’t return them at all.

When was the last time you heard a conversation like this?

Steve: Bob, I think Sheila is emotionally unavailable *bursts into tears*.
Bob: There there buddy. She doesn’t deserve you. Have some more ice cream.

Never happens does it?

The following scenario is far more likely:

Steve: Why doesn’t Sheila ever answer her fucking phone?
Bob: *shrugs*
Steve: Voicemail. Every fucking time. I wonder what she’s up to right now.
Bob: She’s probably getting pounded like a jackhammer by another guy.
Steve: Well thank you Bob. You’re really fucking supportive.
Bob: You’re welcome. Have another beer.

eHow continues:

An emotionally unavailable person may never hear about a partner’s family or friends. He may not even know where his partner lives or what she does for a living.

So now they’ve reversed the genders to make the issues seem less mundane and more esoteric than they actually are. What a riot!

They’re married or recently separated. Maybe they’re dating someone else — or they want to.

Well give the lady a cigar!

Whatever the case, someone who is already involved with someone is not likely to be emotionally available to another person. For that matter, they’re probably not emotionally available to the person they’re with either.

Classic circular definition.

There are also those people who actively seek out multiple relationships in order to avoid emotional intimacy with any one person.

Breath-taking solopsism and projection there.

The nature of addiction makes addicts emotionally unavailable because the addiction takes precedence over everything else.

Christ-on-a-bike! That’s a bit of a stretch isn’t it?

Why not say that men with bad breath or a keen interest in Formula One are emotionally unavailable too?

So the definition now appears to be:

Emotional unavailablity = Anything that you don’t like about someone that you’re into

Well two can play at that game!

From now on, I will define female “emotionally unavailability” in terms of anything that I don’t particularly like about women.

1. Big sunglasses.
2. Harem pants.
3. Fake tan.
4. Unwillingness to blow me on command.
5. Having asymmetric tits.

etc, etc.

There are several references on the Web geared toward women recognizing and dealing with men who are emotionally unavailable.

Yeah. No shit.

In truth, emotional unavailability is not gender-specific.

That’s just a PC smoke-screen. Its a man-bashing slur in practice.

The issue of emotional availability and intimacy is one of trust, which affects both genders.

No, its an issue of a woman not getting what she wants from a particular man and feeling the need to slap a pathological label on his behaviour as a result of that.

Rather than simply saying “we’re not compatible” or “he’s not serious about me” some women feel the need to apportion blame.

Emotional availability is also not a matter of gender roles or behaviors.

The gender-neutral brigade would put the woman-in-a-harem in the same bracket as the beta male who gets used or overlooked by women. Other than both being carbon-based life-forms with low sexual market value, those two types of individual have basically nothing in common with each other.

It’s not about “getting in touch with one’s feminine side” or “sharing feelings.”

Translation:

For the sake of legitimacy, we really want men to buy into this crap as well, but so far even the trendiest of metrosexual SWPLs have no clue what we are even talking about.