Dance Monkey Boy. Dance!

This post is about Shit Tests. What is a Shit Test exactly?

I like Mystery’s formulation. A Shit Test occurs when a woman presents you with a hoop to jump through. If you try to jump through her hoop you FAIL the test.

The trouble with Shit Tests is that guys who are introduced to the concept will start to analyse all female behaviour in these terms.

Is she doing this or saying that to test me or just because she wants to?

As an example, let’s say that a single guy is talking to a girl in a bar, they seem to be vibing and having fun. One one point the guy finishes his sentence and the girl’s eyes wander. She shouts to her friend across the table. Its as if the guy doesn’t exist anymore.

Is the girl testing the guy or is she just more interested in talking to her friend?

At that point, there is no way to know for sure. Her motives don’t matter.

Perhaps he should start a conversation with someone else at this point or get up to use the men’s room or buy a drink?

Even years into a relationship with a woman, the same ambiguities will pop up. A man will think:

Did she just misunderstand me back there?

Is she acting nutty due to her menstrual cycle?

Did she have a bad day at work?

Is she angry at me or at the world in general?

Is that a reasonable request or is she just being deliberately awkward?

Once again, there is no way to know for sure. A man needs boundaries. There has to be a point at which conversation ends, co-operation is withdrawn or a definite “NO” is the answer.

The stereotypical Nice Guy is someone who tolerates too much crap.

Getting angry doesn’t work so well. I’ve done it before, but it is a very destructive way of dealing with unreasonable behaviour. The danger is that once your woman has found the anger lever she will start to press it on a regular basis like a lab rat getting rewarded with a treat.

Ignoring provocation or deflecting it with derision is only a short-term fix. It just kicks the can down the road a little. Yohami pointed this out in the comments of my last post.

my thing with shit tests is that most of them are not “tests” but the girl doing powerplays / manipulation to get away with something and blaming you while appearing as the good one herself. So if you try to “pass” that only means she tries again later. What works for me is to be ruthless and in your face when she tries something, like: hey, I dont tolerate that behavior.


In summation, bullshit is still bullshit – whatever her motives. The question is not so much “is this a test?” but “where are my boundaries?”

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10 Responses to “Dance Monkey Boy. Dance!”

  1. If you are alpha and someone crosses your boundaries, now that person is the one failing the test.

    Nice guys beta puas etc, when the girl attempts to cross a boundary, see it as a “test” that the girl is presenting, like the girl was a teacher and was trying to teach a lesson or something. Guys: the girl is trying to walk over you, so just put her in her place in whatever fashion you feel like, and with the same intelligence you need when dealing with a child.

    Its not about pleasing her and passing a test and getting a cookie. Its about having non-crossable boundaries and standing for them no matter what the situation is.

    Thats what makes you the man.

    • That’s true.

      I thought the examples in the video of the two lines at the airport and the two couches were important though. Neither really involved crossing a social boundary.

      AFCs would consistently fail both of those tests. They would be inclined to follow the girl around.

      The buy-me-a-drink example is right on the edge. It is crossing a line, but once again, alot of betas don’t see it that way.

      How many guys would go one step further and buy the strange girl a drink without even being asked?

      • If she sits in another couch waiting for you go follow her, she´s leading you, creating a gap and trying to set the rules. Its less evident than the buy me a drink but she is giving orders silently = boundary crossing

        The fix: walk to her take her by the hand and lead her to the room, or tease her about what she is doing and TELL her to come to you

        Sitting on another couch and waiting for her to come to you is playing her game. I can imagine how she will stay there annoyed because you are not doing “something”. Girls win at passive aggressive games.

        “How many guys would go one step further and buy the strange girl a drink without even being asked?”

        A lot of guys think thats how you open a girl. Hey, hello, whats the price for admission? can I pay the price just to have my chance? no? well at least enjoy your drink.

      • Mystery did cover that in the video.

        He said that even if you tell her to sit by you, she might still say “no, I’m fine here.”

        But I take your point about not being reactive. Guys can have fun with this shit too 😉

        Take the initiative. Tease HER.

  2. David Says:

    I think on average women have different priorities
    than men in the love and sex domain.

    For instance, I did a Google search for “good catch”
    and the first link was an article presumably by a girl
    for a female audience on “figuring out” whether a guy
    is a “good catch”. It’s clear that “good catch” relates
    to (potential) good mates for long-term relationships.

    I don’t remember thinking strategically about whether
    a woman I would meet or go on a date with was
    a “good catch” …

    In the classic Masters & Johnson studies, I remember
    reading that men in their 20’s would masturbate far
    more often than women in their 20’s . Men and women
    don’t have the same mix of sex hormones, and
    I remember reading that women are most interested
    in sex around ovulation, a time when their
    testosterone levels are highest …

    Let’s suppose that men and women have different
    goals when going to bars (on average) . Well,
    I’d suggest one might almost have to be a female to
    really understand how females think about love and sex .

    • All true.

      Straight women will even go to gay clubs to specifically avoid straight men hitting on them while they are out dancing.

      Shit Testing is a good example of the different reproductive imperatives. Strong character is important to a woman in the same way that a female’s looks are for a man.

  3. Pre-game days I finally summoned the courage to ask a girl (a yearlong one-itis) for a coffee . She had given me a shitload of IOIs in class so I was very nervous in front of the pedestal. She gave me her number and I sent her a text that night . Mistakes I made :

    1) Laughed too much, embarrassed her with a harsh neg, failed her shit tests, no kino, trembled, and did the ‘You want go out for a coffee sometime? ‘ (indecisive and vague)
    2) She left before I did ( DLV)
    3)In the text ‘ It was nice to see you today ‘ , a self-deprecatory remark and stupid joke. Punctuation and perfect spelling.

    Her reply : ‘Thanks will text you about that coffee soon ‘ Haven’t heard a thing for more than a month .

    Was that another shit test or just a flake? I assume a flake. Not sure what to do if she ever contacts me. She won’t. Damn.
    —————-
    This is the point I decided to cut the crap with her and my beta manners . First thing I had to beat out of my brain is that you do not befriend before permitting yourself to flirt. Rationale: Beauty is virtue, ergo they want friendship>romance>hold hands> kiss > eternal love>consummation in intercourse. Yeah, I was romantic and thought lust inappropriate and vile without being friends first. Fuck social conditioning.

    I can’t imagine what it would be like to discover this after 30. I am so dissillusioned now (no marriage, friendship, chivalry!?) that I am considering the MGTOW route; which is a beta move in itself at 22 and in Uni . I went to a party yesterday with all the game/psychology on my mind and got a completely different vibe of the compulsively drinking girls in skimpy dresses : they’re oozingly desperate and insecure . That’s what a dash of apathy reveals , complete role reversal. I talked to a girl about cats for 15 minutes and she was all over it. What the … no intellectual debates required? Trent was right : little puppy dogs is all it takes .

  4. […] Joe – “The Dark Side of LTRs“, “Dance Monkey Boy. Dance!“, “Good Vibes, High Status & High […]

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