The Plight of The Unsexy Man

I hope readers don’t think I’m being snarky by picking that title for this post. I’m not. I’m just trying to get guys to distinguish their identity as a person and their sense of self worth from their relative position – real or imagined – in the sexual marketplace.

Reader JLW wrote in a comment:

True omeganess is indeed forced on a small group of people and there is nothing that they can do about that fact. Thanks for recognizing that there are omegas both by choice and by fate.

I’m not happy with the word “forced” in this context. Where is the coercion?

If a libertarian says “the government is forcing me to pay taxes” he’s right. Either you pay your taxes or the authorities come after you. You can’t “opt out” of government services. Its just a case of naked aggression and threat.

But is anyone “forced” to be alone? Not unless they are being held prisoner in a dungeon. A consensual relationship or sexual encounter is entered into freely by TWO people.

This is where I take issue with the TFL Movement. Being in a position where your relationship wants or needs do not happen to co-incide with those of another person doesn’t mean that anyone has been “forced” into anything. It just means that you are single!

For those fated to be omega, the real test is how you respond to it. Like the boy named Sue, you can let it break you or you can adopt a steely-eyed resolve to succeed in other parts of life.

Boy named Sue? The Johnny Cash song?

If I was that kid I’d just change my name. Sorry.

I’m not so sure about the “steely-eyed resolve” either. Doing things that you enjoy and following your bliss is not so hard really.

Thanks also to Joe for holding up his hands and having a “stop the madness” moment by recognizing that there is a group for which “Game” – however you choose to define it – is just a silly quest, like trying to train pigs to sing Rock Around the Clock.

Deciding that you have High Value is the first step. Acting in accordance with that assessment of High Value is the second step.

I don’t expect the average never-laid young man to give an Oscar-winning performance as a stud with Golden Cock Syndrome.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to. I don’t care if he can’t read body language, can’t flirt, can’t tease, can’t do push-pull, can’t do cocky-funny or hasn’t turned himself into a great conversationalist and/or club dancer.

It doesn’t matter.

But the High Value thing is very important. If I could just persuade the self-designated “omegas” to put a higher price tag on themselves, their time and their energy I would consider that to be a great success.

Roissy tries to cartoonize omegas in his quest to drive as many guys into the Game big top that he can. Joe called him on it, pointing out that the freak omegas that Roissy highlights aren’t representative of the real omegas out there.

What alarms me is that alot of guys in their early twenties are calling themselves “omegas” on the grounds that they haven’t had sex yet.

That’s messed-up if you ask me. If a guy in his 50s complained that he had never had sex, then the label might be more appropriate.

Either way, owning your reality and embracing it is a must.

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15 Responses to “The Plight of The Unsexy Man”

  1. “Either way, owning your reality and embracing it is a must.”

    Indeed!

  2. I will now cough up my favorite It Gets Better story.

    My roommate’s boyfriend lost his virginity to his first girlfriend at twenty-three.

    Today he has two hot bisexual sexually insatiable girlfriends, one of whom is half his age. At one point a few years ago, he was unemployed and having sex four times a day with his then-three girlfriends.

    He’s an outlier, it’s true! But if he can do it, so can you.

  3. “If I could just persuade the self-designated “omegas” to put a higher price tag on themselves, their time and their energy I would consider that to be a great success.”

    Yeah! And if you never look down at the fuel dial, you can drive forever! You could write one of those “Who Moved My Cheese?” books based on that one thought. Add an introduction by another self-help huckster, a couple of folksey jokes, a few personal stemwinders ending with such revelations like: “I realized that, deep down inside, I’m me!” and wrap it up with a few bromides paraphrased out of that book of Gumpisms…shit, man, it’ll look like a graduate thesis.

    😛

    Seriously, one’s value in the SMP is what the market says it is, not what you say it is. Although, with the “self-designated” adjective, there’s still hope that you recognize some omeganess, or degrees thereof, is not “self-designated” but just a product of who you are, warts and all.

    I think over the next couple of weeks I’ll craft a couple columns for your inspection for possible “guest piece” consideration on this subject.

    • Your reading comprehension really sucks jlw. I’ll do a post on this.

      • I’d say my reading skills are right on the money. Saying you’re “high value” (whatever that means) without any evidence that you are “high value” does not make you high value. In my age category (40s), it just gets you laughed at.

        But please don’t let reality intrude on the your vaudevillian snake oil pitch. I enjoy reading it.

      • JLW,

        I drew a sharp distinction between two different concepts.

        1. Your SMV.
        2. Your value as a human being.

        You seem to think that I am talking about the former rather than the latter.

        Can we at least agree that these two concepts are entirely different?

  4. […] I tell JLW that there is a possibility that he might get laid or have a girlfriend in future, he’ll beg […]

  5. Lathe of Heaven Says:

    Sadly I have to agree that jlw has a point. Phrases like this

    “If I could just persuade the self-designated “omegas” to put a higher price tag on themselves, their time and their energy I would consider that to be a great success.”

    convey nothing to me. What does it even mean to put a higher price tag on something that, objectively, no one is shopping for anyway? If my homemade watercolor painting isn’t moving from my yard sale with a tag of $50, will replacing it with a tag reading $500 or $5000 have any discernible effect? or does it just make me look both vain and foolish?

    Remember, the fastest way to become a believer in one’s own HV, in absence of evidence, is to become a self-centered, narcissistic jerk; in fact, believing excessively in your own value without evidence is practically the definition of narcissism. Do you really want to risk leading the omegas into this temptation?

    You may be on to a real idea here, but I don’t think you’ve expressed it very well.

    • Remember, the fastest way to become a believer in one’s own HV, in absence of evidence, is to become a self-centered, narcissistic jerk; in fact, believing excessively in your own value without evidence is practically the definition of narcissism. Do you really want to risk leading the omegas into this temptation?

      Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times: Yes!

      I’ll do a post on this.

  6. […] Is Good. Lathe of Heaven asked a great question in the comments. Remember, the fastest way to become a believer in one’s own HV, in absence of evidence, is to […]

  7. I agree with that.
    I also had never heard of the TFL “movement” before this. It’s fine to give up on the SMP (I did years ago) but it’s shameful to give up on yourself. If that’s what those guys are doing by bitching and moaning about women instead of either getting this Game stuff or ghosting and living for one’s own rational self-interest that way, I have no time for that.

  8. […] Joe – “The Plight of the Unsexy Man“, “No Bromide Required“, “Reader Suggestion: Arranged Marriages“, […]

  9. Nestorius Says:

    “their sense of self worth from their relative position – real or imagined – in the sexual marketplace.”

    Don’t forget that their position in the sexual marketplace is the consequence of luck. Luck, because game is mostly playing the numbers game.

  10. Commander Shepard Says:

    I agree with Joe and “get” what he’s saying. Basically you’re gonna have to start believing you deserve better if you’re ever gonna improve your life. That includes your SMV. As a former omega I can attest to that.

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