No Bromide Required

If I tell JLW that there is a possibility that he might get laid or have a girlfriend in future, he’ll beg to differ.

That’s fair enough. I’ve never met the guy. I don’t know about his life experiences, his looks, his social skills, his environment, etc.

But if I tell JLW that he shouldn’t crown himself Captain No Pussy and define his whole identity in terms of something he doesn’t have he gets very angry and accuses me of administering a metaphorical bromide to him!

Yeah! And if you never look down at the fuel dial, you can drive forever! You could write one of those “Who Moved My Cheese?” books based on that one thought. Add an introduction by another self-help huckster, a couple of folksey jokes, a few personal stemwinders ending with such revelations like: “I realized that, deep down inside, I’m me!” and wrap it up with a few bromides paraphrased out of that book of Gumpisms…shit, man, it’ll look like a graduate thesis.

Seriously, one’s value in the SMP is what the market says it is, not what you say it is. Although, with the “self-designated” adjective, there’s still hope that you recognize some omeganess, or degrees thereof, is not “self-designated” but just a product of who you are, warts and all.

I think over the next couple of weeks I’ll craft a couple columns for your inspection for possible “guest piece” consideration on this subject.

Potassium Bromide is the substance that the military of various countries are alleged to have administered to servicemen in order to contain their sexual appetites. Less controversially, it was used in medicine as a sedative.

So here I am trying to kill poor JLWs sex drive and/or lull him to sleep by telling him to enjoy his life in the absence of a partner.

So basically, I can’t win.

If I tell him to get Game, he’ll tell me to forget it.
If I tell him to be happy without women, I get accused of wanting to suppress his natural urges.

No bromide is required for men who are convinced – rightly or wrongly – that they can’t get laid.

Just a fleshlight and some hobbies.


5 Responses to “No Bromide Required”

  1. Bobby Says:

    I wonder if JLW drinks,

    It may be helpful for him to enjoy a couple of nights out a month. I´m not talking about clubs or singles bars, but just some friendly, fun bar. And maybe, to help get into the mood, he could take a shot before he leaves home and arrive in a better mood to begin with. I don´t mean to turn anybody into an alcoholic, but damn, he sounds like he needs some fun in his life. Maybe he could talk to a girl at the bar; alcohol helps him to be more forward and it helps her to be more agreeable.

    • Definitely.

      Although I don’t know how old JLW is, my guess would be early 20s. Prime age for just getting drunk with your buddies. Just for the hell of it.

  2. Potassium bromide might not help him. I recommend potassium cyanide.

  3. […] Joe – “The Plight of the Unsexy Man“, “No Bromide Required“, “Reader Suggestion: Arranged Marriages“, “The […]

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