The Plight of The Unsexy Man

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 6, 2011 by workshyjoe

I hope readers don’t think I’m being snarky by picking that title for this post. I’m not. I’m just trying to get guys to distinguish their identity as a person and their sense of self worth from their relative position – real or imagined – in the sexual marketplace.

Reader JLW wrote in a comment:

True omeganess is indeed forced on a small group of people and there is nothing that they can do about that fact. Thanks for recognizing that there are omegas both by choice and by fate.

I’m not happy with the word “forced” in this context. Where is the coercion?

If a libertarian says “the government is forcing me to pay taxes” he’s right. Either you pay your taxes or the authorities come after you. You can’t “opt out” of government services. Its just a case of naked aggression and threat.

But is anyone “forced” to be alone? Not unless they are being held prisoner in a dungeon. A consensual relationship or sexual encounter is entered into freely by TWO people.

This is where I take issue with the TFL Movement. Being in a position where your relationship wants or needs do not happen to co-incide with those of another person doesn’t mean that anyone has been “forced” into anything. It just means that you are single!

For those fated to be omega, the real test is how you respond to it. Like the boy named Sue, you can let it break you or you can adopt a steely-eyed resolve to succeed in other parts of life.

Boy named Sue? The Johnny Cash song?

If I was that kid I’d just change my name. Sorry.

I’m not so sure about the “steely-eyed resolve” either. Doing things that you enjoy and following your bliss is not so hard really.

Thanks also to Joe for holding up his hands and having a “stop the madness” moment by recognizing that there is a group for which “Game” – however you choose to define it – is just a silly quest, like trying to train pigs to sing Rock Around the Clock.

Deciding that you have High Value is the first step. Acting in accordance with that assessment of High Value is the second step.

I don’t expect the average never-laid young man to give an Oscar-winning performance as a stud with Golden Cock Syndrome.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to. I don’t care if he can’t read body language, can’t flirt, can’t tease, can’t do push-pull, can’t do cocky-funny or hasn’t turned himself into a great conversationalist and/or club dancer.

It doesn’t matter.

But the High Value thing is very important. If I could just persuade the self-designated “omegas” to put a higher price tag on themselves, their time and their energy I would consider that to be a great success.

Roissy tries to cartoonize omegas in his quest to drive as many guys into the Game big top that he can. Joe called him on it, pointing out that the freak omegas that Roissy highlights aren’t representative of the real omegas out there.

What alarms me is that alot of guys in their early twenties are calling themselves “omegas” on the grounds that they haven’t had sex yet.

That’s messed-up if you ask me. If a guy in his 50s complained that he had never had sex, then the label might be more appropriate.

Either way, owning your reality and embracing it is a must.



Posted in Uncategorized on June 4, 2011 by workshyjoe

Just say “no” to marriage kids. Have a good weekend!

Nicky G’s Sixty Day Challenge

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 4, 2011 by workshyjoe

Nicky G from At Liberty, At Leisure has a Sixty Day Challenge for the readers of In Mala Fide.

If I understand him correctly, the competition starts on June 6th and finishes sixty days after that.

I left a comment on his challenge, but it looks like I’ve committed myself to reaching the goal a little earlier – July 30th.

Never mind, its still doable!

Men Who Go Poltergeist

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 4, 2011 by workshyjoe

Readers of my old blog will recall my five part series of posts on Ghosting. Here’s part one, if you’re a newbie.

Just to recap, “Ghost” is the new term for “voluntary celibate heterosexual male”.

Fellow manosphere blogger Single White Male has taken a long hard look at his new circumstances and decided to go…Poltergeist.

That’s a new term that Single WM coined on Twitter. While a regular ghost would deliberately avoid any sexual or romantic entanglements, a poltergeist might be down for some action if the woman came on to him and was sufficiently hot.

Your thoughts, readers?

Not Gay, Not Mexican, Not Beta?

Posted in Uncategorized on June 2, 2011 by workshyjoe

The crowd chants, “Me-xi-co! Me-xi-co!” in an attempt to get the singer to acknowledge that the majority of the audience is Latino. He does. “I’m going to sing a couple of more songs,” he tells them, “then all of you can go back to Mexicali.”

And the Yuma Convention Center explodes. Only one white man in the world—and he’s not the pope — can tell a group of Mexicans in the United States to return to Mexico and not only avert death, but be loved for saying so.

His name: Steven Patrick Morrissey, former lead singer of the Smiths, current saint among countless young Latinos.

The article that quote is drawn from is a few years old now and the cross-cultural appeal of this androgynous Englishman isn’t easy to understand.

The speculation about Morrissey’s sexuality is more obvious. Journalists have asked him point blank if he was gay on many occasions and he has always refused to be drawn on the subject. He even played up the speculation by claiming to be asexual or belonging to a “fourth gender” – whatever that means!

No smoke without fire, right?

I think he is a closet case. Not a closet homosexual mind you. But a closet alpha male growing up in an age of feminist pretty lies and political correctness.

In terms of Smiths song lyrics, it seems to me that everyone is determined to grasp the wrong end of the stick.

It amazes me that people can listen to “How Soon Is Now?” and think that Morrissey isn’t highlighting the absurdity of the AFCs basic predicament.

Message: “Approach, You Chump”.

“Girl Afraid” is another very simple song about gender-based misunderstandings and missed opportunities.

Message: “Escalate, You Chump”.

“Bigmouth Strikes Again” highlights the dangers of being a passive- aggressive beta male in long term relationships. A man’s true feelings will always spill out eventually.

Message: “Be More Alpha”

Good Vibes, High Status & High Value

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on June 1, 2011 by workshyjoe

Rob left a great comment on my last post broken down into two parts.

Pre-game days I finally summoned the courage to ask a girl (a yearlong one-itis) for a coffee . She had given me a shitload of IOIs in class so I was very nervous in front of the pedestal. She gave me her number and I sent her a text that night . Mistakes I made :

1) Laughed too much, embarrassed her with a harsh neg, failed her shit tests, no kino, trembled, and did the ‘You want go out for a coffee sometime? ‘ (indecisive and vague)
2) She left before I did ( DLV)
3)In the text ‘ It was nice to see you today ‘ , a self-deprecatory remark and stupid joke. Punctuation and perfect spelling.

Her reply : ‘Thanks will text you about that coffee soon ‘ Haven’t heard a thing for more than a month .

Was that another shit test or just a flake? I assume a flake. Not sure what to do if she ever contacts me. She won’t. Damn.

This is a good illustration that a girl can be really into a guy in terms of his looks, but not like the vibe he gives off in person.

Rob was attractive enough for the girl he liked to go out with him in the first place, but she definitely picked up on his nerves and emotional state at the time. She didn’t like it one bit.

This is the point I decided to cut the crap with her and my beta manners . First thing I had to beat out of my brain is that you do not befriend before permitting yourself to flirt. Rationale: Beauty is virtue, ergo they want friendship>romance>hold hands> kiss > eternal love>consummation in intercourse. Yeah, I was romantic and thought lust inappropriate and vile without being friends first. Fuck social conditioning.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to discover this after 30. I am so dissillusioned now (no marriage, friendship, chivalry!?) that I am considering the MGTOW route; which is a beta move in itself at 22 and in Uni . I went to a party yesterday with all the game/psychology on my mind and got a completely different vibe of the compulsively drinking girls in skimpy dresses : they’re oozingly desperate and insecure . That’s what a dash of apathy reveals , complete role reversal. I talked to a girl about cats for 15 minutes and she was all over it. What the … no intellectual debates required? Trent was right : little puppy dogs is all it takes .

Rob raises an interesting question about social convention there. I have no way of knowing what this particular girl was looking for in terms of sex or relationships. For all I know, she might have wanted to go the traditional route that Rob described with an alpha male.

With regard to the question of chivalry, the most important thing a man has to establish is his value.

What’s the appeal to women of the knight in shining armour in the age of chivalry?

Its not the chivalry. Its the “knight in shining armour” part.

So how does a man establish his knight credentials?

This is where it gets a little weird. I think its important to distinguish between high status and high value at this point.

If you look at a stereotypical American college campus, the high social status guys are the atheletes, right?

Do they behave like apologetic betas or cock-of-the-walk alpha males?

No prizes for guessing the correct answer to that.

In the post college world, who are the high status guys?

That’s not as easy to determine. For any given workplace there will be a hierarchy, but what about strangers meeting in a bar who don’t work for the same company?

Then women will look for all kinds of status markers such as job title, what car a man drives, where he lives, his clothes, his friends, his behaviour, etc.

Now imagine that you have a guy with all the external markers of status without the attitude and swagger that normally accompanies it?

He would be screwed. Women would just assume that there was something deeply wrong with him. The case of Alex Reid is a good example of this.

Now imagine the opposite scenario with a guy who lives in his father’s basement, doesn’t own a car but still acts like he’s a rock star?

He would have it made. Women would ask him about his life, his experiences travelling the world, his job as a writer and look for reasons to like him. Roosh is a good example of that.

In terms of the MGTOW, I would strongly counsel ALL men in the Anglosphere against marriage in 2011 for both practical and political reasons.

But co-habitation and sex don’t have to be ruled out. Its really a question of what we want out of life. The key thing is that whatever we want, we don’t have to apologise for it.

In terms of intellectual debate, I think that Rob is right to surmise that puppy dogs and bright shiny objects are more important to most women. Although I dare say that there might be some exeptions to that in the upper echelons of academia.

Dance Monkey Boy. Dance!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 31, 2011 by workshyjoe

This post is about Shit Tests. What is a Shit Test exactly?

I like Mystery’s formulation. A Shit Test occurs when a woman presents you with a hoop to jump through. If you try to jump through her hoop you FAIL the test.

The trouble with Shit Tests is that guys who are introduced to the concept will start to analyse all female behaviour in these terms.

Is she doing this or saying that to test me or just because she wants to?

As an example, let’s say that a single guy is talking to a girl in a bar, they seem to be vibing and having fun. One one point the guy finishes his sentence and the girl’s eyes wander. She shouts to her friend across the table. Its as if the guy doesn’t exist anymore.

Is the girl testing the guy or is she just more interested in talking to her friend?

At that point, there is no way to know for sure. Her motives don’t matter.

Perhaps he should start a conversation with someone else at this point or get up to use the men’s room or buy a drink?

Even years into a relationship with a woman, the same ambiguities will pop up. A man will think:

Did she just misunderstand me back there?

Is she acting nutty due to her menstrual cycle?

Did she have a bad day at work?

Is she angry at me or at the world in general?

Is that a reasonable request or is she just being deliberately awkward?

Once again, there is no way to know for sure. A man needs boundaries. There has to be a point at which conversation ends, co-operation is withdrawn or a definite “NO” is the answer.

The stereotypical Nice Guy is someone who tolerates too much crap.

Getting angry doesn’t work so well. I’ve done it before, but it is a very destructive way of dealing with unreasonable behaviour. The danger is that once your woman has found the anger lever she will start to press it on a regular basis like a lab rat getting rewarded with a treat.

Ignoring provocation or deflecting it with derision is only a short-term fix. It just kicks the can down the road a little. Yohami pointed this out in the comments of my last post.

my thing with shit tests is that most of them are not “tests” but the girl doing powerplays / manipulation to get away with something and blaming you while appearing as the good one herself. So if you try to “pass” that only means she tries again later. What works for me is to be ruthless and in your face when she tries something, like: hey, I dont tolerate that behavior.

In summation, bullshit is still bullshit – whatever her motives. The question is not so much “is this a test?” but “where are my boundaries?”